The Official Issuance of a Challenge That Could Be Accepted Sometime Never, Maybe
Ambiguous, thick, largely inaccessible {to the average intellect} section about me:
Should I have known that Thierry’s father not only grew up a lucky orphan in a charming haven near the Scottish border, but also that he made himself a hard-working, easily amused Englishman who lived by the seat of his pants into adulthood? Early in life, Papa D learned about the nutritional benefits specific to bivalves (namely mussels and scallops [nothing against clams {at least not fundamentally}]). To protect his anonymity, [&] henceforth, I’ll call him (some derivative of) Daniel. His childhood isn’t sad—he enjoyed good health in daily life well into his sixties. [REDACTED] Before the arbitrary legal assignment of “adulthood,” the old chap whose crooning yarn spins upon our fortunate wheel of procedurally generated time, her future father happily let himself get swept away to Ireland alongside his more experienced {and more than apt to teach} bonnie lass [4 years his senior]. Never forget that my genetic coding dictates a colorful divergence from ordinarily wild perspectivity. I can’t think like you think; therefore, I will phrase things differently (even when we’re expressing the same thought/emotion). Evidently, their “X-rated” [you know, chromosomally] sexual primes overlapped in twisting trains of magnetic heat and fruitful passion. Madeleine [TNT] was the third of their five girls. Her “Daddy” [you remember Danny Boy, don’t you?] aligned his loyalty seasonally with a new underdog every year (in the Premier League). How could I possibly know this? A ladylike house of noble manner on the street, but a starving clan of poetic freaks between the sheeted lines of inaccessible exorbitance [REDACTED] through the linen pockets of cloudlike dreams upon the timed laps of luxurious oblivion[/oblivious luxury].
ARK
🤨
Now I have a story to tell about another. It goes like this.
So. A rather simple boy—and for some reason, I‘d be skeptical of any tales suggesting that he came into the world “very quickly and very easily” [oops, is this a spoiler?]—born into a life of obscene wealth, and who grew cocky in his confidence of living consequence-free amidst a celebrated facade of savoring indignity through indignant behavior, whether by design or otherwise, has redefined the American presidency. Cool.
Oh, dang, this is real life? So cool.
Also, in case you missed a major point of underlying implication, yeah, I’m saying that he’s still a boy. Indeed, emotionally, #45 is a little. Period. Noun.
Also, in case you were wondering, yup, I would say all this to his face; the only “challenge” would be trying not to laugh (too much). I’m just kidding—I’ve learned not to suppress laughter; it’s involuntary and feels good, after all! I’m not joking. Plus I’m not that insensitive when it comes to children with special needs. I’m just/not kidding.
In fact, give me a stage with a podium and—in a debate that would haunt The Donald for the rest of his life—I’ll make allllllllll the fluids evacuate his tired, shitty body.
Wait, am I (still not) kidding?
Even when I kid, I’m serious.
“Just another day in paradox.”
Somewhere in here, a moral about quick and easy fixes beseeches our acknowledgment, but I can’t do all the work, okay? Use your own brain, dammit. Plus I feel weirdly drunk despite having not recently imbibed any yeasty byproducts. Blame the anomalous connectivity of my neural pathways if you must.
Ahem, to be crystal fucking clear, I am saying with profound certainty that yes, absolutely, 100%, I would make a better POTUS than Donald John Trump.
Then again, I’m also quite sure that so, too, would you.
And that’s the point.
A bumbling blind person stumbles and fumbles repeatedly in leading a loyal procession across an unforgiving desert—metaphorically speaking, obviously; don’t worry about it; gosh—while slinging sand across the many faces of the people who pledged to follow him over an undulating sea of endless dunes under a scorching sun?
Hard pass.
Put another way, hell naw.
And one day, he’ll know, too.
Postscript:
Yeah but for real gimme the opportunity to man an opposing podium and I’ll pummel his plump rump into an undignified, messy submission, and this is coming from the female voice of an illegal alien.
Mmhmm. Ouch.
“Come at me, bro.”
In case you were (not) wondering, no, Donald’s appearance in Wrestlemania 23 didn’t intimidate me.
Kissy face.
Addendum:
Words just come out of me, okay? Can’t help it. I thought I was about to take a breather, but while listening to the American President’s commencement address at West Point, my head got split wide open by a freshly brewed freight train of stormy brain-puke. May I never run out of steam. Here are the contents found inside only a handful of the boxcars.
• Half-serious question: has he ever a taken speech class, and if so, what grade was he given, was it above the letter G, and am I dead?
• Unbiased observation: he can no longer say “China” without inflecting underlying hostility.
• Hyperbolic take: he announced his administration’s plan to pump 2 trillion dollars into augmenting this country’s already obscenely loaded military. He even repeated the word “trillion” before blurting, “With a T.” First, what about the “r”? Second, from which magical money tree will those funds fruit? Please provide exact GPS coordinates because I might wanna punch my ticket to Mars. Because third, are we gearing up to murder the whole fucking PLANET??
• Recurring feeling: 🤢
• Conservative opinion: increasingly, and through the synergistic combination of both his limited vernacular and inflexible demeanor, he personifies, shall we say, a one-dimensional would-be tyrant. What you see? Yeah, that’s what we’re getting.
• Liberal assessment: he falls somewhere between a black-and-white caricature of himself and a little brown bag of feces that was dropped on our porch and set ablaze.
• Remotely polite, pointlessly direct address: Mr. Trump, you should immediately abandon the mindset that the pandemic is a war and by extension that the virus is our enemy. It confuses you. COVID-19 couldn’t care less how many fancy missiles you’re stockpiling, POTUS-45, because it is physically incapable of caring at all due to being a virus and thus it technically contains NOT ONE SINGLE CELL.
Do you know what can travel faster than anything else in the whole wide world? The whole universe, for that matter. You may know that the answer is light.
How do you know?
Do you know how fast light travels no matter what?
Put it this way: the speed of light can traverse a distance equal to the circumference of the earth about 7.5 times in a single second.
Text messages can travel around at that speed, too.
We’ll put this many ways throughout.
Have you ever read anything at all? That’s cool, I guess. It came from the past. Don’t let your perception of light make you think it’s instantaneous. The scale we perceive naturally doesn’t allow us to see that.
Things are a bit different on the astrophysical scale. For example, a beam of light cannot traverse a galaxy as fast as it can illuminate a room. In fact, a photon needs about 100,000 years [a.k.a. “light years”] to skedaddle across The Milky Way. That’s roughly equal to 30 kiloparsecs, a measurement of distance/time that is useful when looking at the whole picture of our universe.
1 kpc equals 1.917e+16 miles.
Fairly safe conclusion: our universe is big.
The entire world really does need to get on the same page in terms of how things are measured, recorded, and reported. The metric system seems like the way to go. It’s cleaner, makes more sense.
If we can’t even agree on how to measure everything, then how can we expect to agree on anything?
When you wish upon a star, the light you see was actually emitted a long time ago.
You can see the light from stars that predate the sun—the galaxy, even!
When you look up at the night sky, you are basically looking into the past.
Should our sun fall to magical deletion in the middle of the day, we would not realize it until 8.333333333333333333333333333333 [ish] minutes later.
Light sets the pace of our time, but it can’t teleport as is, nor is it telepathic, per se.
In other words, there isn’t anything in existence that can travel faster than light.
In still more words, light makes time go crazy.
That’s not a lie, joke, guess, hypothesis, or theory. That’s a proven fact.
But light is also something else.
The word “light” also means light, i.e. not heavy.
The lighter something is, the faster it can move.
In other words, it’s a thing and it’s not weird.
The heavier something is, the more it weighs.
Ever been slowed down by weight?
Wait, what equates with weight again?
You probably know the answer to this one.
Gravity.
Still.
Gravity and light, bookending peas in our pod of existence, spiraling ever-wildly out of control.
When it rains, man, it pours.
Boy, does it ever.
Connected any new dots yet? Mapped any new correlations? I see a new one every day lately.
A body can resemble the human form, a lake, a planet, or an organization. Light can describe weight or brightness. Deep can indicate a hole or thought. Force and matter can be nouns or verbs.
There must be one dominant power in the universe that explains every single item on every list contained on this site, a single relationship that matters most (or makes the most matter).
What’s the most abundant element in the universe?
Do you know?
Why doesn’t everyone know?
Shouldn’t we all know?
Think about it.
Of literally ALL THE THINGS EVER, the abundance of but one element sits around 75%.
In 3 out of 4 things, a single atom repeats.
Do you know what it is?
Hydrogen!
Doesn’t this fact seem kind of important?
It should because it is.
Or, again, maybe I’ve got it all wrong.
So let’s straighten out the facts.
Hydrogen is the lightest and smallest of all elements. Hydrogen is the element most commonly found in the cosmos. Hydrogen is the only element that lacks a neutron chilling out in its nucleus. Hydrogen’s name alone seems to forecast the generation of the molecular powerhouse known as water.
In other words riddled by intentionally moronic inaccuracy, who’s your daddy?
In all seriousness, I am of the urgently strengthening opinion that any fact concerning hydrogen should be grouped in the top tier of that which constitutes “common knowledge.” Why isn’t it?
We probably need to reconfigure our approach to education every so often. Drastically. Clearly!
I highly suspect that budding intellectuals are being taught most of the right stuff, but not with proper emphasis, and all out of sequence, to boot.
Do kids still learn that “Christopher Columbus discovered America in 1492”?
Why?
After all, the statement is shamefully false.
In other words, that’s not real.
When you teach a kid lies on purpose, what should we expect to see in return?
Name something that grows without investment.
Don’t feel bad; I can’t either.
Only when we share our perspectives may we understand one another.
Never hesitate.
Step into our mental dojo.
In other words, always feel free to come inside.
Now.
Go outside and play.
☀️
Welcome back.
When you think of the term wavelength, what do you imagine? Perhaps an image not unlike this one:
Notice the spikes.
What the hell is a wavelength anyway?
In other words, what are we doing?
Wavelengths illuminate frequencies.
Unlike mechanical waves, electromagnetic waves are always perpendicular/vertical (transverse).
Light is an electromagnetic wave; its energy is produced by the vibration of charged particles.
An electromagnetic wave doesn’t need help to travel—it serves as its own fuel and can even do so in the vacuum of space.
The existence [pulse] of gravity causes the vibration [nether-regional desires] of particles.
(Admittedly, I get funky with parenthetical interjections from time to time.)
The other stuff amounts to matter [energy at c2] that hasn’t figured out how to stay alive without needing to eat. And without dying. Hmm, I wonder if those two problems have the same solution.
Whoops, derailed again.
Should we get back on track?
Sound is a prime example of a mechanical wave.
In terms of waves, “mechanical” means that it cannot exist in a vacuum and therefore requires a medium [meaning some form of matter] through which to travel.
Sound waves are always longitudinal. Water waves can be either.
Your voice is a mechanical wave.
Say something aloud.
If you did, then congrats, because you just waved, mechanically speaking.
The fact that we can talk at all is a freak accident thanks to evolutionary entropy and genetic mutation.
Summon your voice from within.
Say anything about this. It’ll be brilliant.
The frequency of a wavelength determines its shape.
Frequency.
Occurs frequently, or not.
Light zips along at 299,792 kilometers per second (186,282 miles per second).
Per second.
Infrared is the lightest light, which means that it has the lowest frequency, i.e. least curvature.
Highest frequency [which means most weight, not coincidentally] manifests behind the electrified veil of the invisible living color that we coolly call ultraviolet.
Spacetime actually bends by the weight of the star that anchors our solar system. It has been observed, measured, and documented. And our sun is “only” average—meaning green, fair, balanced.
Hot, hott, hawt—take your pic(k).
The higher the frequency in a wavelength, the farther light has to travel back and forth [parallel] to cover the same distance [perpendicular].
“Frequencies” occur on/along/across/within/throughout “wavelengths,” and therein lies the differences between them.
Sound travels at a much slower pace than light.
The speed of sound varies depending on temperature and elevation, but on average it travels at about 1,234.8 kilometers per hour [343 mph].
To put it mildly, sound’s relationship with light naturally complicates matter{s}.
Earth falls within the green wavelength of the sun’s heat/light.
To reiterate, green epitomizes balance, as it occurs directly in the middle of the color spectrum.
In other words, green is the color where{in/-upon} life can happen.
Now I see how and why our number system works!
In other words, color illuminates why math features 9 digits.
We need to be green.
While we’re here, we should touch on the other four waves in the electromagnetic spectrum.
Radio waves are vital to our connectivity since they can carry our voices and images along with them. We’ve been beaming them into space ever since we started broadcasting about a hundred years prior to the assembly of this sentence.
At some point, even billions of years from now, if there’s intelligent life out there, then in theory they could detect us {assuming they’re listening}.
Spooky.
You’re very familiar with the waves some of us call micro.
Microwave ovens cook specifically by targeting water molecules in food.
In other words, microwaves cook like the sun.
In another word, radiation.
Misconceptions abound concerning this type of heating method; however, not only is it perfectly safe (unless the interior is dirty or the food’s container is made of plastic, for instance [because it can bind unsavory chemicals to your grub]), but also the shorter cook times result in the preservation of more nutrients. Yeah, microwaves can be good for you!
X-Ray radiation, due to the measurements of its specific wavelength and unique frequency, passes through matter that isn’t too dense.
Bones are dense, generally.
Skin is thin, usually.
That’s how X-ray imaging works, in a nutshell.
Curious side-note: both microwaves and X-rays were accidental discoveries.
Lastly, gamma rays are produced at the nuclear level, whether by fission, fusion, or a type of decay.
In medicine, gamma rays are used to fight cancer.
In the universe, no event has been observed to be more luminous than a gamma ray burst. Scientists believe these events signify the formation of neutron stars or black holesdark orbs. Yikes!
It all depends on how the math shakes out.
The difference between each wave on the spectrum (of which there are 13 in total, luckily, I suppose) comes down to the frequency within the wavelength.
Radio waves display the lowest frequency and the longest wavelength. In other words, the path is straighter but with observable undulation.
Gamma waves reveal the highest frequency and the shortest wavelength. In other words, the path is more squiggly.
By the way, if your imagination isn’t running wild, then you should let it.
Unmolested, light’s wave looks like a straight line. In a vacuum, an electromagnetic wave moves energy at a speed of 3.00 x 108 m/s, a value commonly shown in math by the symbol c, the variable that represents the speed of light in Einstein’s famous equation.
Though light cannot escape an event horizon, the gravity of a black hole dark orb itself cannot consume light because the fight is evenly matched, meaning each does its own thing as well as the other does the opposite.
In other words, gravity and light are a match made in heaven.
Science has proven this via calculated observation on a proverbial loop.
In other words, the science of observation has proven a the whole lot.
E = mc2
Energy equals matter [or mass, if you like] at the speed of light (squared).
I prefer “matter” because it makes more sense in my head. Without matter, there can be no mass with which we can interact.
For now, just consider the fact that, essentially, Einstein’s equation indicates—given an absurd (c2) amount of time—that energy (E) equals (=) matter (m).
Matter becomes energy.
Energy becomes matter.
Matter and energy become one.
As the nerdy tee states, “You matter, until you multiply yourself by the speed of light twice, then you energy.”
the speed of light = c
No matter how you slice it—as long as you do in fact sliceit—the variable c represents a measurement of time.
Light sets the bar for speed while time ripples in its wake.
c
=
miles per second
186,282
kilometers per second
299,792
meters per second
299792457.82816
span of whole universe
>13.8 billion years
OMG
Is there a more absurd amount of time than none at all?
How about time that goes backward?
Hold that thought.
The speed of light is one of three key factors in one of (if not the) most current, renowned, revolutionary contributions to science, the General Theory of Relativity. Einstein’s theory basically observed that gravitational waves and material interference determine the pace at which time ticks by wherever you (or anything else in the universe) might be, and the only thing exempt from this constant truth is light.
This explains why as we go faster, time slows down.
Einstein first published his theory of Special Relativity in 1905, updated to its General form ten years later to accommodate Isaac Newton’s law of gravitation.
Long story short, the primary adjustment was based on the realization that spacetime is not flat, but rather curved.
We’ve not been the same since.
The primordial force of gravity actually bends space and time, creating an array of trajectories and pathways for movement.
In other words, water spirals down the drain.
Seemingly, when bending yields breakage, we get those galaxy-gobbling monsters known (heretofore inaccurately) as “black holes” that, for all intents and purposes, are trying to rewind time by slurping up all the things and stuff in the universe.
I never said gravity was smart, okay?
No wonder light’s in such a big damn hurry to get the hell outta dodge.
Like a kid, toy, top, clock, heart, atom, sperm, nucleus, cell, sun, planet, moon, creature, toddler, whatever else you can think of, if you wind it up, then by golly, it’ll go!
But it will not go at the speed of light. It will not because it cannot. It isn’t physically capable. The laws of physics have highlighted this fact without exception since folks began trying to observe and record said physical laws. The speed of light sets the edge of reality, the space where time stops.
How much more irrevocably irrefutable can one fact be?
What might all this suggest happens when the speed of light doubles? How about an absolute reversal of time? What can you imagine that could suck worse than that?
Imagine it.
All of time. The history of starlight.
Approaching 14 billion years of all this chaotically dispersing energy fueling oceans of hydrogen, the formation of galaxies, stars, planets, moons, oxygenating seas for all matter of carbon, collapsing dust, rising ash, nurturing development, breaking and sliding, shifting and braking, billowing ash toward all manner of life, evolving, discovering, creating, encompassing and permeating every last fraction of recorded history.
All of it.
Imagine everything there ever was.
Stock image.
Now imagine it gone.
Snap, blink, poof.
Goodbye, forever—at the same time, hello again—all in an absurd instant that times out upon reaching the kind of speed only accessible in dreams.
Remain calm. We will make sense of all this. Assuming we get lucky.
Now what can you imagine that might suck worse than all of existence glitching out and requiring an instantaneous reset? Nothing, perhaps? The speed of light is already plenty absurd, but multiplying itself by itself!? How square.
The word “square” has over 50 definitions, by the way.
Squared, opposite of split.
Multiplication.
Times.
X.
Consider everything that can happen by splitting anything squarely.
(You gotta do some of the work here.)
When enacted upon an occurrence of circular motion, straight lines have this super weird way of dividing up then being unsure about whether to veer left or keep right. Pardon me for saying so, but that’s exactly what I think must’ve happened before the first atom ever was formed. Miss Zero was sad because she couldn’t count. That sucked. Then, in an enlightening moment of staggering clarity, she realized that she’s a goshdarn circle, an intensely infernal inferno, a supernatural sorceress capable of hurling a level infinity fireball.
Science, physics, math, language, civilization, religion, philosophy, art, music, food, everything I’ve ever seen, smelled, touched, heard, felt, wanted, needed, or thought about supports every sentence held together by these digital pages.
In other words, most likely, I’m delusional.
But have you ever heard of a cell that didn’t divide?
Any kind of cell. Any cell in your body. Any stormcell. Any terrorist cell. Anything cellular.
Anything sold.
Energy boomerangs while building momentum in a straight line.
Where lines meet, mathematical randomness takes place and creates shape.
In other words, even properly lubed gears eventually grind.
In other words, triangles come full circle.
Really quickly, take forever and think of something that fully conflicts with the following pattern.
Being says hello.
Any mushroom cloud that ever violently arose. Anything that collects and gathers dust. Anything that ripples or makes waves. Anything that needs to be moved. Anything that goes on its own. Any bulb that ever bloomed. Any tree that ever grew up. Anything that breathes. Any division of labor. Any friction between competing parties (or bodies) that generated enough heat (or power, or pain, or pleasure) to explode. Any thing (like you and me) that ever learned to control its energy, the essence of its vitality, the source of its light.
That’s what all this is about.
(The hokey-pokey is optional at this point.)
Just hang in there, okay? I swear you’re fine.
All anything has ever been about equates with dire needs in the face of wanting control of energy sources.
Life is programmed to do whatever it takes to survive.
How many triumphant armies have been well-fed? How many wars have been fought over land? All of them.
Think of all the blood that has been shed since mankind learned how to summon and control fire.
Imagine wanting full control of fire.
Imagine profiting off a need meant to be spread evenly across humankind.
Maybe you don’t have to imagine it.
Why do people want to control more fuel than they need?
The way I see it, this highlights the root of all greed. Resource-hogging can only end badly. When you don’t need something, you cannotuse it. This is not hard, people—fuck.
Greed is the ultimate evil, if you will.
It all comes down to power.
power: energizing existence only to relinquish a fraction more or less than half its assets since forever ago
Let’s say that this image represents a supernova, a monstrous cosmic event which demonstrates gravity’s unstoppable nature when a massive star runs out of fuel and collapses in on itself en route to an ultra violent explosion resulting in the birth, among other things, of the precious metal we call gold.
Currency amounts to the blood of a nation, society, civilization—that is to say (via implicit extrapolation), resources must flow and circulate in a timely manner (in order) to promote and sustain health. Analogously by extension, hoarded riches become thick clots. Clotting portends systemic failure, advertising symptoms that may include social injustice, just for one historical and current example, which can plant eager seeds of civil unrest and stoke raging fires of political division.
Welcome to 2020!
We already know where this is going, and yet we act like we don’t. In other words, we dumb.
Treating solely the symptoms that compromise the integrity of anybody, especially poorly and under predominantly ill-equipped leadership (at every level), will not cure the ailment.
This is painful{ly simple}. Simplify the problem. Know the solution.
The disease that plagues humanity is inequ(al)ity.
The virus is greed.
In other words, overall, we’re sick in the head.
We don’t have to be.
Our cure has to be wisdom, and this must be spread by enlightened people.
Currency means time.
Time.
Money.
Worth?
Existence is like a ticking time bomb. Gravity imposes the same tax on all of us. We need to share the weight of our presence across the globe lest human civilization, along with our impressively diverse, positively bursting catalog of earthly creations, ultimately crumbles in a tragic comedy of pigheaded errors atop a cacophonous concert of contagiously willful ignorance.
In other words, don’t be greedy; rather, share.
That’s how we win.
In other words, it’s the only way we avoid loss.
People, we run the same race.
Life versus death.
Our variably tilted equation won’t solve itself—we have to correct the imbalance by smartly affecting the factors, by reducing waste, by redistributing power in every sense of the word.
