SPOILER ALERT

Omigod did y’all hear that the earth is flat?? There are YouTube videos PROVING it. OMG we’re all being duped by psychic wizards! OMFG BRB dying then vomiting before amassing an army of braindead goons to usurp all the governments.

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Who am “I”? Who are you?

I’m a hidden character. I wield the voice that currently drives this blog. I’m a dream come true as well as your worst nightmare at the same time. I’m someone who could be anybody.

Who the hell are YOU?

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Speaking of us, while I do not personally remember when the earth was (thought to be) flat, I do recall a time not too long ago when conspiracy theories were way less susceptible to widespread subscription and, thus, far more harmless.

Dearest internet, I hate you as much as I love you.

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The next conspiracy theory will be extra amusing [only it won’t (because it’s not funny anymore)]. But, yeah, it’ll be about how COVID-19 was all just an elaborate, sinister plot to drown the assassination of Donald Trump in a vast sea of innocent lives.

Can’t wait!

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When people (who have been clearly blinded) urge others to open their eyes—fuck me—I’m just not sure how to proceed.

I know: I suck.

Before birth, I was “blessed” by a “cursed” ability to see (behind the scenes).

I can smell a bad egg before cracking it.

You can’t?

Oh.

Shucks.

Sorry.

At least you don’t have to sniff a poot to know that it stinks?

Hi.

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One meme at a time—and funny though any such example may be—you might be helping to cement a civilizational death sentence by sharing pure nonsense as if it’s factual.

Gobble, gobble, turkeys.

Not that we will anytime soon, but we all need to start operating under the assumption that if it’s a meme/image/video file, it’s not true news—in other words, it’s false.

Because no matter how dumb someone is, there are almost certainly two people even dumber, and stupid ignorance is way more contagious than COVID-19. These days, what with humans connecting at the speed of light all over the globe and all, the infection rate of misinformation is astronomical.

Let’s arrive at some important conclusions, shall we?

News shouldn’t be seen as artificial amusement.

News should be viewed as objective information.

News should NOT be considered entertainment.

Stop being a meme.

Start using your brain.

At least try.

Please?

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Oh, well. At least you/we/I can look back (already) and see that I/we/you tried.

Are you wrong?

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In Wuhan, China, there’s this lab, you see. Its purpose is the study of coronaviruses, just for example. To study these microorganisms, typical hosts must be collected. That means bats, for instance. To do science, data must be gathered and measured; indeed, from perhaps 800 miles away, specimens have to be acquired and preserved.

Filled in the blanks yet?

Did the virus originate in a lab, or was it brought unwittingly to a place where a virology lab has been located for several decades? Weird, right!? An institute that exists to study viruses brings in a virus, by doing the thing it’s meant to do, via a species known to harbor viruses. What are the odds??

Do you understand?

Processing Occam’s Razor is hard when your party/salary requires you to visualize only one side of a two-headed coin.

And when there are two sides to a story, there’s always a middle ground, aka the truth.

COVID-19 wasn’t manufactured in a lab, nor was its onset a purely organic occurrence. It arose naturally (and was spread) due to humanity’s artificial influence (across the globe).

Stop pointing stupidly ignorant fingers. Stop blaming a single side of one whole story. Stop taking sides; instead, straddle the uselessly destructive line being drawn in the sand.

Try to be reasonable.

Can you?

Ah.

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Who am I??

Who the fuck are you?

Cool. Hot.

Be that person.

Hurry.

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Too Late To Matter

Ever learned a lesson the hard way?
Imagine this.
Imagine that you get sick with the virus currently changing the whole world.
You reckon, “Eh, I’ll be fine.”
Imagine that after a week or so of manageable symptoms, you (re)determine that you will, indeed, be fine.
Then imagine that you take an abrupt turn and start sliding downhill.
Even then you suppose you’re gonna be okay.
But imagine that you keep getting worse.
You land in the hospital.
The ICU.
Intubated.
Ventilated.
Now imagine realizing.
You are going.
To die.
Imagine drawing your last breath due to a form of life that you never saw coming.
Would you then take it (more) seriously?
Because by then, it will be too late to matter.
Imagine that.